Mountains. Molehills. They're the same 'round here.

April Fool's Day. Short of teaching my kids pranks that will likely get them suspended, how do you keep this day fun?

Answer me that.

Since pretty much our entire life revolves around eating, here's what we came up with:

We started the meal with pie. It was gorgeous and delicious with a flawless crust. And filled with chicken and vegetables. I know you're imagining it now.

(And you're going to have to because it got eaten before the portrait session. And the crust was ugly.)

For dessert we had hamburgers and hot dogs:

Notice the "Baconator" in the middle I made especially for Tony. Nilla wafers and peppermint patties. Circus peanuts and orange sticks. All trimmings were molded out of fruity Tootsie Rolls. (Throw those puppies in the microwave for 4 seconds; putty in your hands.)

And Krew's first potty training went so well we used it for a centerpeice!!

Okay fine. It's jello. And Baby Ruths. My mom was so grossed out she wouldn't even eat it. Gage would only eat it if I fished out the poop and showed him it was really just candy.

Apparently he thinks I am a really good cook.

Prank of the day: Bucket of ice water thrown on Tony in the shower. My kids helped. And they saw his bum. (They must still be really innocent because they didn't really seem to notice.)

Their squeals of laughter are extra delicious when it involves mischief.

Prophets and punches. Oh, and bite-marks.

Can I just start off by saying how wonderful Conference was this weekend? Warmed my soul right down to my little soul-toes! I wish it could be monthly. Or even quarterly would be awesome... Now on to more grim matters: Someone in our house whose name starts with GAGE got into a fist fight at school. The principal called it "a pretty bad tussle for some first-graders." After throwing up at my own wedding and having four babies, I didn't think I could ever feel embarrassed again. Yet somehow, talking to the principal and the other mom made me want to excuse myself to go DIE. I don't know exactly what happened because I was not there, but apparently Gage was chasing a girl who is cute. Other boy didn't like it because he also thinks girl is cute. Boy bites Gage's thumb. Gage does a wrestling-style take down. Boy pulls Gage's hair. Gage punches and at about this time during the "altercation" loses his temper and his mind. Neither boy was seriously injured. Sheesh. Funny side note: Tony and I were BOTH sent to the principals' office in first grade for fighting. (I was framed.) And we both grew up to be relatively non-violent people with short criminal records. That gives me hope.

Is there a mouse in the house?

This is not a new story, but I wanted to share before I forgot it...

Jocelyn's hair is pretty long. And it tangles somethin' fierce.
I always tease her in the mornings while we're trying to brush out all the tangles:
"Did you let a mouse make a little nest in your hair during the night?"
She always giggles.
"Uh oh. He had a little friend sleeping over here, too."
Brush, brush, brush.
You get the idea.
One night I was putting her to bed, and she had all her hair fanned out on her pillow, with a little shoe box with a Barbie pillow and a wash rag in the bottom. It was sitting on her hair, right above her head.
"Mom- it's to keep those mice out of my hair in the night!"
I laughed and told her she was a thoughtful, special little girl. Cuz she is.

Saint Pat's and all those sneaky Leprechauns!!

We've been close lately, and me and the old man Pat.

I was informed that St. Patrick's Day is LAME by Gage, because I didn't make as big of a deal as, say, like Christmas. I am ashamed.
So we did try to make it more fun- decorations, green clothes, little cheap hats and necklaces for everyone in their classes, I hosted a preschool party for Lauren's class and let the big kids sluff school and come to the party.
Then we made little plates of treats to sneak over to the neighbors (Leprechauns are sneaky, you see, so we had to be too). We were just going to ring and then doorbell-ditch, but we got caught a lot. It was so funny to see them sneak up to the door all quiet and then once it was rung, they would all yell "RUN!!!" and hammer those little feet back to the get-away car.

I asked the kids if they had liked all the fun stuff we had invented, and by far the doorbell ditching thing was their favorite.
Me: "You guys want to do it again next year?"
Them: "Yeah!!"
Me: "Who should we make treats for next year?"
Pause.
Gage: "Who is the slowest person we know?"
He's always thoughtful like that.

We capped the night off with our local wrestling tournament. Gage took fourth. Out of four.
He did really good though, and wasn't sad about losing until the last match. He had tried his hardest, and looked up to the score board and saw that he had only made one point (the other kid only had a couple more) and he hung his little head and started crying. They held up the other kids' hand and he walked over to Tony and just buried his head in his neck and bawled. It broke my heart. (I could tell Tony was hurting for him, too.) So we took him out for a cheeseburger and let him stay up late with us watching the "Gnome-mobile". He has recovered completely. Just like I tell Tony, a cheeseburger will do it every time. Or Oreos.

We did have an interesting little conversation on the way home, though. Mostly just Tony talking and me listening, really, which is unusual. He said that if our kids are going to do sports, he has to be around. And he can't do it with the job he has now. (FYI his current job is in a city almost 2 hours from our house. Add a 4 hour round-trip commute to a full work day and you have yourself an absentee father.) He mentioned that when we took the kids outside to throw the ball around last Sunday, he noticed an improvement in less than an hour. I told him that I thought that would be wonderful if he could be around more.
So the conversation just sort of stopped there, because this is something that I have been just a hopin' and a prayin' for! It's not a bad job, but our kids are getting older now and they need him to be around. Especially Gage, since his only brother is a toddler and we do not live in a neighborhood where he is regularly around other boys. I am anxious to see if this was just passing talk to sooth his bruised heart, or if he actually intends to make some changes.

Maybe we'll get lucky and find him a job closer to home.
And isn't today the day to hope for luck?
Yes. Yes it is.

Hmmmmmm... Things to do Today.

Gage wrote this yesterday at church. He followed it exactly:

1. Go to church.
2. Change clothes.
3. Eat lunch.
4. Clean dishes.
5. Go downstairs.

Things to do tonight:
1. Brush teeth.
2. Go to my room.
3. Get in bed.
4. Say prayers.
5. Go to "sleep."
6. Sneak my DS lite.

Apparently, he got my stealth gene. (Which is none, by the way.)

Awwwww..... twinners.

Have you ever had the fortuitous occasion of finding a toy that looks like your child?

When Jossy was little, she kinda looked like her Dumbo toy, with those big, round blue eyes and tiny little mouth. (Their ears were nothing alike, thankfully.)

We were at the grocery store and saw these cute little piggy banks, and had to get one! The similarity is even more striking in real life.Do you like his new fake smile? Precious.

T.M.I. (But we're all grown ups here, right?)

Remember all those cute little New Year's resolutions I posted? You do? Oh good, cuz I have actually been working on them! I knew you were wondering how that was all going... Sorry to have made you wait so long to find out...

I have been the non-snacking PRO for two months. I have made nutritious meals for my family and my parents (while catering to my mom's strange "allergy" to spices) almost every night and I no longer allow myself treats after dinner. I haven't drank soda in two months; only milk, juice, and water. Not that I was a big soda drinker before, but still... I have served salad with dinner 4 times a week, and often eat it for lunch.
SO GUESS HOW MUCH WEIGHT I'VE LOST????

3 pounds. In eight weeks. Boo.
That's the kind of weight I could gain back in one night with a good hearty Taggart's binge.

So this is what that number means to me: it means I have become a woman of a certain age. That certain age being the one where I have to get off my honey-bunners and work out! Be the woman sweating profusely with a face the color of an under-ripe plum while pushing a jog stroller and trailing children of various ages on their bikes behind her. The people who drive past, thinking "Should I stop and help her? She looks like she's not gonna make it..." or "That's a lot of kids. Oh look, there's another one crashed in the sage brush over there..."

All of this to be less embarrassed at the mommy-and-me swim class!

And to feel fit and strong, but mostly the swim thing.

So here's to the next 3 pounds; may you please not take me another 8 weeks to be rid of you. Cheers.